Anyone who says that relationships are difficult, are basically admitting that they aren’t willing to take the time and energy to understand and appreciate the complexities. When you commit to an individual human soul, who is free to do whatever they want, you obviously have to give up a part of yourself as a burning sacrifice to Hera, but the only way to remain happy in a relationship is to also be an individual human soul who is free to do whatever you want, while giving up enough of the selfishness to make someone else your priority, because that should be the only thing you truly want. Therein lies the rub, in the words of the great whiny prince.
Societal and religious expectation on relationships has given us stringent rules and regulations to follow, and clearly marked borders that cannot be crossed without severe emotional punishment, and in some of the darker areas of the world, physical punishment, even death. This box that most relationships are having a difficult time flailing around in is based around one thing: possession, which is what modern marriage is: a certificate of ownership written up by the lawyers of patriarchy. This possession is cleverly disguised as love by those in the system, but Love, as has been written about since this featherless biped figured out a way to communicate by wording, is not in any way possessive.
Love just loves. There should be only one rule and guideline: just love. This true and genuine love exists outside the box, and has only one grey area, which should already be at the core of every individual’s ethical structure: Primum non nocere, first, do no harm. If you can just love someone, and your every action is based around doing no harm, then you have the formula for a long and happy relationship. Relationships are NOT difficult; it is we who are difficult; our insecurities, our fears, our issues, our traumas, our perceptions, our interpretations, our expectations, our laundry lists of self that we try to cram into relationships instead of confronting, is what makes things seem difficult.
This particular featherless biped that found me is absolute chaos; she is a sailless ship, tossing and turning in the tumultuous seas of existence; but I happen to be a fucking light house. We compliment each other so beautifully that we really don’t have any other option but to span time together. So, here’s to the most beautiful creature on the planet, my favorite place, my greatest Muse, and all round giant energy ball of heart and compassion. A year ago we made an official commitment to each other, but I feel like we were committed to figuring out how to make this work the moment we first went out to shoot five years ago, when she had no idea what she was doing, and I had no idea what to do with her energy, but we both just looked at each other, saw each other, and kind of blindsidedly said, “…..oh.”
Mark the winds, and Mark the skies,
Ocean's ebb, and ocean's flow,
Sun and moon but set to rise,
Round and round the seasons go.
Why then ask of silly Man
To oppose great Nature's plan?
We'll be constant while we can--
You can be no more, you know.
Happy one official year of the ebb and flow, Love, ad infinitum.